Pregnancy & Parenting Articles

Nobody Told Me There Would Be Days Like These

When I became pregnant with my first child, I was ecstatic. Well, sure I was scared too. My husband and I looked at each other with uncertainty. Ready or not, we were on our way to becoming parents.

Over the next nine months, Mike and I received tons of free parenting advice and quite a bit of it was, well, negative. Initially, other parents would be overjoyed, happy that another couple was entering their ranks. Then they would start in with the bad news. "Your life is over," and "You'll never sleep again." And most cruelly they'd smirk at one another knowingly, and say "Bye-Bye sex life."

But we felt like we were on this incredible cosmic journey together and let's face it, we really didn't want to listen to the "negative advice" from unhappy, dissatisfied parents with unruly little brats. We believed that we had a strong marriage that could withstand any changes a baby brought into our lives. After all, we were completely prepared for the arrival of our baby. Or so we
thought.

After much anticipation, our beautiful, perfect daughter, was born. Olivia slept peacefully in the hospital, awaking simply to peek adoringly at her parents. Mike and I were convinced that parenthood would not crimp our style the least bit. But reality sank-in quickly after we brought our angel home. That first night Olivia slept sporadically, rotating through an endless cycle of eating and crying. And that was just the beginning. Over the next couple of months, my husband and I bravely struggled alongside each other, desperately trying to maintain balance in a world literally turned upside down.

And suddenly it hit me. Nobody told me there would be days like these! Nobody told me that I'd spend an entire day accomplishing nothing except for feeding my hungry, growing child. Nobody told me that my life would become consumed with the three P's: poop, pee, and puke. Nobody told me that an entire day could go by and I wouldn't find time to shower, feed myself, or venture outside the womb of our home. Nobody told me that I would feel so unsure and out of control. Nobody told me that there would be days when I was absolutely certain that I had made a mistake having a baby and that I needed to return this baby to its rightful owner ASAP.

And yet, just when I was about to throw in the towel, there came a day when my daughter and I clicked. And it was on those days, the good days, that I could see how my life had changed for the better. For months I had felt as if I accomplished nothing. But instead I had nurtured this new life and helped her become a happy, content, curious, playful, and wonderful child. This baby had needed me to guide and love her. And the loving part came easy.

And those are the days nobody ever told me about either. Nobody told me how overwhelming this love for my child would feel. Nobody told me how heart-wrenching it would be to see my child get hurt or become sick. They also didn't tell me how effortless it would be for me to rock that sick, crying baby all night. Nobody could have prepared for how much infinite joy this baby would bring into our lives. And nobody told me that I would learn just as much, if not more, than my baby during that first year of motherhood.

The truth is nobody could have told me what to expect when I was expecting. As a previously unenlightened childless woman, I had no concept of how one tiny, helpless infant could affect my mental, emotional, and physical landscape. And frankly, even if other parents tried to tell me the truth, I'm sure I wouldn't have believed them. Parenthood has to be experienced, in order to be truly understood and appreciated. Even after Olivia was born, Mike and I foolishly expended way too much energy trying to get her to adhere to our archaic notion of order. We thought we could get back to business as usual, even though our business had become extremely unusual. Nobody told us that ultimately parenthood is about embracing the chaos and making it your own.

My advice to all new parents is to stop fighting the current and go with the flow. Once you get over the initial culture shock of parenthood, you must learn to accept that this is not a temporary arrangement. Your new roomie is a permanent resident who just happens to wield a heck of a lot of power and quite a bit of poop. A sense of humor, coupled with love and affection, will get you through most, if not all of the rough spots. Just remember that now that you've become a family, your days most likely aren't going to be predictable, productive, tidy, or quiet any time in the near future. But the overall quality of your life will increase tenfold.

And in rare, quiet moments, you'll stare at your sleeping baby, swell with pride, and think "Nobody told me there would be moments like these. Nobody."

Written by: Lizbeth Finn-Arnold
Web Site:   The Philosophical Mother

This article provided by the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com